2021 Roundup

 

If 2020 was a transition phase for me, 2021 became my adjustment period to the life I chose to change. This basically centered around having to deal with living with my parents again, stripping off certain freedoms that I enjoyed in Manila. This meant not being able to freely come and go as I please without letting them know why I was leaving the house. This also meant that I have a curfew whenever there was no one to open the gate for me. In exchange of reinstating life's constraints, I now have no bills to worry save for my own personal expenses. I don't have to worry about doing the laundry or preparing my food because I am no longer as independent as I was last year. It definitely has its pros and cons, an equal amount of compromise and financial freedom as its bottom line. At times I could feel like my parents had turned into my responsibility especially when it comes to doing errands and reminding them of their lack of focus. In the end, I've learned to live with it...but I times I just wish I can easily fly in and out of Manila to regain some sense of control for my sanity. 

The other thing where my life revolved around this year was the construction and establishment of our glamping business in La Castellana, Doméino. This is where I spent most of my time and energy in 2021. Doméino is basically what defined my 2021. It was where I grew as a person this year, as well as what drove me crazy...that, and getting covid.

All in all, 2021 seemed to have passed faster than 2020. This was mainly due to the fact that I was busy most days. Traveling around Negros was also easier compared to Manila. I even managed to go to Cebu twice by the end of the year...and probably even more places if not for typhoon Odette.

I experienced a couple of high and lows this year. The highs being able to something crazy amazing like constructing and managing a resort. My lows, having to go through a bad case of covid, as well as losing a couple of my close relatives this year. It's hard that I didn't get to enjoy their company as much as I could've wanted because of the pandemic. 

I did as much as I could to gain momentum with my life. Although at times I feel like I'm at a standstill, especially socially and when it comes to experiencing new cultures. But as I sit and reflect on what transpired, it's wasn't that bad at all. 

From a pile of dirt, we built Domeino.

It's a beautiful place to be.

This came with a challenge though.

My Top 2021 Whatevers:

Wow Moment: That moment when I realized that my back problem had been healed. I've always thought that my back problem will be a permanent thing…you know, one of those regretful 23-year-old decisions I made that I will have to pay for the rest of my life. I always felt like the pain is a curse, implanted onto me intentionally as punishment by the old woman who did my hilot. I later found out that the woman who massaged my back also did voodoo and black magic. I got to know about this when my aunt who recommended her admitted this fact months after she could no longer contact her. It was years of various therapy and faith healers that I went to in hopes of relieving the pain. I even went as far as Bali to have myself checked, only to feel the pain coming back again in a matter of weeks. It was only this year when I distinctly remembered the exact moment when I felt the pain in my back disappear. It was as if something was pulled out of my back and in that instance, it felt lighter and normal. That was the moment when the priest was performing an exorcism at our house, praying a strong prayer to expel any evil curses on my aunt who was being disturbed by spirits at that time. I was in the room listening to the prayer, unaware of how that healing prayer struck me because it was something that I wasn't expecting to happen. I kept quiet, but in my head, I was blown away how the timing was, exactly at that moment when the priest recited the prayer of lifting out all of the hexes bestowed in the house and to all those present, something stirred in me and the constant pain I was feeling for years immediately faded. That was just…wow.

Heart Pumping: It's those long drives I had to take from Bacolod to La Castellana during thunderstorms. I never experienced a thunderstorm while being in the mountains before, and this year I realized how scary it is to be up there during one. Imagine being high up in the mountains, driving through an open field, and seeing flashes of the lightning strike the ground as you zoom past through pools of rainwater. They say the closer you are to the heavens the higher your chances of being struck by lightning…and it was unnervingly close. It happened on several occasions during the peak of the rainy season this September and October. I can clearly recall those moments when I feel my heart stop when I see those huge bolts of light break out of the dark sky and make everything light up. The cracking sound of the thunder is more deafening in the mountains as well. It's the last place I want to be during a storm because everything seems exaggerated, even the size of the raindrops and the gustiness of the wind.

First part of the year we managed to go to Molocaboc. This was the only time I swam in the sea. The rest of the year was all about staying up in the mountains.

I did an overhaul of my room, discarding everything in my closet for a new set of wardrobe. I love the teal on my cabinets so much even if the color felt off to the rest of the room.

Three days at Balai Ramirez with my barkada felt so short. We had so much fun.

This was my life during my quarantine due to covid. Spent 13 days without leaving the room.

Unexpected: Getting Covid-19 and how long it took for me to recover from it. I found out I was covid positive May 11…and it took three months for my cough to fade, six months for my taste and smell to return to normal. I had long covid as I could feel its effect on my body several months after my release. 

Most Stressful: Being left to run and manage our glamping business, Doméino, on my own a month after we opened. I can't believe how much I aged in a month having to do most of everything to keep the newly opened business up on its toes while the rest of my business partners went back to Manila and their respective jobs. The amount of hair loss, wrinkles, body pains, and almost-mental breakdowns I had to go through was quite prevalent. It was a matter of taking everything one day at a time and just waiting for the day when I finally get to not be so overwhelmed with what needed to be done. The most tiring part was simultaneously absorbing the complaints of my staff and guests. Add to that having to drive up the mountains 72 kilometers away with a lot of stops in between because I also had to do all the marketing for our kitchen and housekeeping supplies. Managing the financials also meant I had to shell out personal cash for the payables in between whenever we were short on cash flows. It was no joke, but the hardest part was really dealing with the staff that had zero experience when it came to the hospitality and service business because they were residents of the hacienda working as farmers before our opening.

I embraced so much rice fields and open areas to stare at.

Margherita at Woodfire; Cheese Burger at Hot Box; Chili Wonton at East Bites; Takoyaki from Toko Tako

Diwal soup by Karl; Seafood Pancit at XiZack; Fish Tacos at Quedan; Baked Oysters Cesari at Italia

Most Annoying: Losing my sense of smell and taste as part of my covid symptoms. It was really difficult to eat because I couldn't taste anything, so there was no appreciation for food nor was I craving for anything at a time when I was supposed to be eating a lot to help aid my recovery. There was even an instance where I got food poisoning simply because I couldn't taste nor smell anything to tell me otherwise. This calvary dragged on for months, my sense of smell and taste was distorted with me having to taste particular tastes in all the dishes, particularly fried garlic and jackfruit…which are not at all a lovely combination, to begin with. For the smell, I couldn't detect the lighter more fragrant, and better smells. It's the stronger base scents that I can only whiff on which is annoying because I can't really tell what the actual product smells like, preventing me from trying to buy new perfumes and doubting everything in front of me. This eventually resulted in a lot of self-doubt and uncertainty.

Scariest: It was one evening when I slept in the unfinished room that my uncle was constructing. It was said that the spot where he built his vacation house had a lot of supernatural activities going on from the original house that he destroyed to build the new one. The family who used to reside in the original house said that they'd hear banging in their house when everyone was asleep. On occasion, there'd be shadows and even claims that they saw a woman would roam the area during ungodly hours of the night. I shoved off the story as a good ghastly tale…but I do feel the heavy energy of the place at times, especially in certain areas. They say an elemental is living there. It was a tiring day then, so a friend of mine and my cousin slept early that night. It was a few hours in when I woke up to the sound of the walkie-talkie going off with a woman's voice repeatedly saying the same line, "kamusta na kamo?" The accent wasn't local, in fact, there was a bit of a twang in how she was pronouncing the words, like a Thai or Vietnamese trying to say those words in their English accent. I opened my eyes and could see about five meters away from my bed the walkie-talkie buzzing between its green and red light. I ignored it at first, covering my head with the pillow…but it kept on and on repeating the same lines in the same monotonous accent until I stood up to turn off the device because I couldn't sleep at that point. My cousin had left two walkie-talkies on the table out in the balcony, but only one was receiving the voice interference even if they were set with the same frequency. I peeked to see if anyone was up, everyone was asleep and no one was in sight as well. It was on my way back in the room when I felt the hairs standing on my arms because it was then that I realized that what happened was not normal. I checked the time before closing my eyes, it was exactly 2am when it all happened. The next morning I saw my cousin confused at the settings of the walkie-talkie because the language had been altered. When the staff asked what color of the light was flashing as the voice spoke, I said it was mostly green. His expression changed saying that if it's green it means that the frequency is outside of the devices that everyone in the vicinity is connected to. He gave an uneasy expression and chose to say no more of the matter.

Blueberry Basque at Delicioso; Chicago Cheesecake at CBTL; Cakes by V&W; Mermaid cake at Dusit Cebu

Sea Salt Latte at Coffee Crema; TDG Signature Latte at TDG, Listel Merlot 2017

Worst: Being stripped off of my freedom. A little over three weeks into my quarantine I started to feel a ringing in my ear, and I knew I was close to a total meltdown. It's been years since I experienced having a panic attack. That the feeling of losing air and almost tipping off to breaking is truly an unnerving feeling. Chasing after my breath and shaking, with me feeling my whole body close to collapsing due to a mental breakdown is not a pleasant experience. I felt lightheaded and almost out of my head…it was soul-crushing and emotionally draining. Losing my freedom is like me falling into a pit of despair that can be hard to recover from. I hate it. I hate it so much. Like a prisoner of my own demons, I felt lightheaded and lifeless and pointless. Like a breathing zombie, it's an unbearable pain that's heart-wrenching. It sickens me to the core. 

Heartbreaking: It was seeing the once beautiful hacienda I left to fall into ruins. I arrived to see the whole enclosure overrun by grass and weeds with the poultry's headcount dwindling down to less than a hundred chickens from last year's at least over a thousand heads. The coops were dilapidated. So were the trees that we planted, unhealthy. The worst part was that my brother was double-crossed by the guy he trusted to manage the farm. Their partnership dissolving due to the hard-pressed times caused by the pandemic. The worst part was just as my brother was picking up the pieces, the storage where they placed most of their equipment burned down due to a short circuit. Add to that the typhoon that devastated our farm before the year ended. Seriously, I can't help but try to make my own moves to help the farm pick up its pace. 

Funniest: That time when I was with my girlfriends staying at Balai Ramirez, and every night the bees, insects, geckos, and everything we hate start coming out. We are all brave and independent women, but every so often in between chugging our beers and chatting, one of us would suddenly just finch or scream when an insect would come attacking us mid-conversation. We laughed all night at how silly we were acting out on top of very random topics.

Selloum Cafe at Talisay

Stuff destroyed in the farm by the fire, typhoon, and theft.

A couple of developments in the farm.

Un-luckiest Moment: Probably the time when I got covid, had to go into a quarantine facility was also the time when the crypto market crashed so bad. It felt like a double uppercut because it was also the time when I was waiting for the swab results of my parents. It wasn't a wonderful state to be in since I was still chasing my breath at the time while having no sense of taste and smell.

Stupidest: Trying to chase a cockroach that I was trying to kill and repeatedly cannot step on it because my face mask was covering my eyes. It was an annoying number of seconds that we were both going in circles in comedic symphony.

Regretful: Investing a lot in the crypto market right before the crash…happened twice this year. It was like seeing my money dissipate in value just like that. Another is delaying that conversation I was supposed to have with my cousin manang Lalate. I was supposed to tell her about meeting her colleague who openly did me a favor while I was at Mandaue Foam. I called it off a couple of times because I was so busy those days. A week after I found out that my cousin had passed away. It broke my heart to hear the news that I  

Coolest: There's nothing more enthralling than freedom. It's those in-between moments when I'd go out for a drive and stare at a vast rice field, watching it sway as birds would fly by. I'm not that fond of having to drive long drives as I used to, but the places I want to be in will take several kilometers from my house…which in turn prevents me from making this happen all the time. But every time I get to do it, I'd forget all of my life's struggles and be in a meditative state of bliss.

A few of the sites around Mandayao, La Castellana.

How I celebrated my 28th birthday. I'll be 28 the next ten years.

Heart Warming: Seeing the impact of our business on the lives of the people we employ. From farmers, we took them into work for our glamping, and the confidence they got from working with us could be seen in the way they smile and speak. 

Proudest Moment: It was one evening when we didn't have any guests checked in. I was swimming in our pool at Doméino, I turned back and watched the three domes standing. I made something happen out of nothing. I was able to reach a farfetched dream I never thought I'd be able to experience. It was in that silence when I patted myself on the back. I now have something that was only a "What if?" when I was a kid. It's amazing how childhood dreams work in its ability to direct your future.

Cutest: I've always had a love for cute furry animals. This year it's seeing a lot of lambs and kids being born on the farm. They are the cutest things when they are a week old and they start to jump all over the place with their furry legs. Chasing after them is always adorable.

Most Fun: Doing random vlogs with my friend Enny L. Doing the café hopping around Negros and the mukbang vlogs with our friends. It's something new and fun to do especially since I don't have the pressure of maintaining the vlog. I just tag along and do whatever I want, in front or behind the camera. Another thing that I enjoyed doing was going around on Christmas eve to all my families to drop off my Christmas gifts to them. Seeing them up close and being able to catch up with them is something that I truly enjoyed doing.

A couple of shots from vlogging with Enny L.

Random snippets of the places I went to.

My first trip to Cebu last November after seven years.

Wildest: It was experiencing typhoon Odette in Cebu. We decided to go to Cebu on Dec 13 to grab some supplies, taking lightly the strength of the typhoon, only to find out the gravity of its power when it hit. The typhoon started at 7:30pm and ended at almost 11pm…but it felt like the longest three hours of my life. Sitting in our hostel, watching the building being pummeled by the wind, listening to its howling as it moved through the halls, rattling the ceiling and the glass windows with its power. I was with my brother in our room when we could hear loud cracking on our heads and debris falling on the floor. It was when we looked up that we saw the ceiling had collapsed and the roof has been torn off allowing for the rain and wind to enter. We immediately ran out of the room, leaving everything behind. The next hour was trying to find a dry spot because there was a waterfall inside the hostel as the typhoon progressed, while every now and then we'd hear strong thuds of branches falling, while at times large trees collapsing. It was roughly 11pm when the worst had passed and we looked outside our street and saw how it destroyed so much of the area, but it was only in the succeeding days when we realized the devastation it caused. I've experienced a couple of destructive storms while I was in Manila, but this one felt scarier.

Most Challenging: Managing people who have a very different mindset from what I'm used to. It's adjusting the way you have to psyche them out to reach an understanding. Giving instructions or listening to their reasoning results in high blood pressure at times. Listening to their complaints always causes my energy to be drained. I was practically dragging myself to work two weeks in.

 

Magical Moment: Standing in the middle of the bridge across the waterfall in the middle of the night watching as the fireflies flicker behind the trees, flying above us, and glow as they flew all around us.

Awe-Inspiring: Going around Cebu and seeing how businesses seem to flourish with foreigners being drawn to the city. I'm hoping to see this happen to Bacolod sometime soon wherein there can be a sustainable balance of city and provincial life…because I'm seeing a lack of diversity in Negros still. It makes me hopeful though, of the possible exciting opportunities in the future.

My second trip back to Cebu.

This was right after typhoon Odette.

We managed to get our work done despite of the calamity.

Best Feeling: Being able to celebrate my birthday at Doméino after hiding from people for months. It's the second time I got to celebrate my birthday in a place that I built. The first one was in Chicken Studio, three years ago. There's always something special about celebrating in a place that you worked hard for. To be able to present it to people closest to you gives me a sense of fulfillment.  

OMG Moment: The drive we had from Mabolo in Cebu city to Tabuelan port, two days after typhoon Odette hit Cebu. The drive literally felt like a post-apocalyptic movie, one we had to experience in order to escape a hard means of survival. We left Cebu City at 3am on December 18 in the hopes of catching the 6am roro to San Carlos port. Passing through the mountain of Naga meant driving through roads that were blocked by fallen trees, electric posts, landslides, and debris of houses that were torn apart by the wind. At one point we saw an entire roof sitting in the middle of the road. We couldn't drive straight for five minutes without encountering an obstacle suddenly appearing in the dark. Large trucks couldn't pass through certain areas, and it was just us and very few others who took the risk to drive out. I wasn't able to take any videos because it was pitch black, save for the few meters that our front light could reach, but it certainly opened my eyes to how powerful a storm can be. Probably the OMG feeling was right when we saw the entrance to the port city the dawn started to break out of the sky resembling that of a real movie. I could just imagine the credits rolling on the side at that point, as our car was finally driving past a much clearer road towards our destination and the sun beginning to rise out of the sea.

  

Best Discovery: The Langsub area right below Doméino where the spring water flows freely for a beautiful landscape. I enjoy bathing in their small pool where they just put a hose in as the water continuously pours in and out of the pool. 

Ending the year with our Christmas and New Year celebration at Domeino, Hda. Remedios, our house, and making my rounds to all family members.

Favorite 2021 Drink: Sea Salt Latte from Coffee Crema, TDG Signature Latte by The Daily Grind, Listel Merlot 2017 vintage 

Favorite 2021 Food: The Cheese Burger from Hot Box Kitchen

Best Thing I Ate: Burrata Salad from Capriccioso, Cheese Roll from Victoria & William, Pizza Blanca from Woodfire, Chili Wonton from Eastbites, Salmon Poke Salad from Nezu, Diwal cooked by Karl, Dinakdakan Sisig from XiZack Café, Seafood Pancit from XiZack Café 

Favorite 2021 Dessert: Negrense ice cream from Maayo Farm, Burn Basque from Victoria & William, Blueberry Basque from Delicioso, Chicago Cheesecake from CBTL, Magnum Sakura flavored ice cream 

Favorite 2021 Restaurant: Doméino Café, XiZack Café, 

Unforgettable Meal: Breakfast by the Waterfalls at Doméino with Mika's team from Cebu.

Favorite 2021 Hang Out: Doméino, XiZack Café, Tractor Café, Selloum Café, on the side of the road overlooking a vast rice field   

Favorite 2021 Songs: 10 Years Ago by FKJ, Stressin by Tre. Charles, It's OK by Nightbirde, Lost by Blake Rose, Easy on Me by Adele

Favorite 2021 Movies: King because of Timothee Chalamet

Favorite 2021 People: Norm of Tokyo Lens since he's cute and amused me with his walkthroughs around Japan.

Will Be Most Missed in 2021: I lost three people I loved dearly this year: tito Toto, manang Lalate, and lola Hariette. 

Achievement Unlocked this 2021:

1. Starting and managing our glamping business Doméino 

2. Riding an ambulance (Not an achievement, but it's something new)

3. Growing trees from seeds (Jakaranda and Palawan Cherry Blossom)

4. Learn the skill of planting

5. Guest/cameo in vlogs

6. Starting my dream project 

7. Surviving a natural disaster (Typhoon Odette)

8. Managed to return to Simala to give thanks for fulfilling my wish seven years ago

9. Going on long drives solo

10. Make an effort to look and feel better

11. Renovate my room in Bacolod after over 10 years

2021 Realization: 

I think I'm getting there, to a point when I want to settle down. Not yet, but very close to being ready.

Lesson Learned for 2021: 

Covid is real. And it sucks on so many levels once you experience it's crippling effect on your family.

2021 Quotes:

"If you don't move, you won't move." –Hannah Pangilinan

"You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy." –Nightbirde 

  

First Time Places I Went to this 2021: A couple of areas around Cebu and Negros 

2022 New Resolution:

I don't have one…I'll just have to survive through this and make the most out of it.

2022 Bucket List:

1. Step foot on new ground. 

2. Say it.

3. Develop something nice for the farm.

4. Continue to pursue the dream I started this year.